Hello momma and Pop and FAMILY!! It's me again:)
Transfers were last week. The night before, I cleaned our apartment while Sister Banks packed, and Sister Carlos called to talk to me. She said that President wanted to speak with me before the transfer meeting.
The jeepney we rented was late to pick all of us Elders and Sisters up from our apartments. Elder Apin brought a mini music box, MP3 player and played music from a Korean film called "The Classic." It was nice to hear the deep sounds of a cello as we rode through the mountain pass to Cauayan...I haven't heard a cello in so long. (I am so tired of my two Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs) We were late to the meeting and all of the Elders and Sisters were sitting down in the church pews. Sister Carlos came to me as I walked in and told me to go to the stand to speak breifly with President before the meeting started. He whispered that he thought I was ready to train, and could help this new sister teach by the Spirit. I couldn't help but smile so big :) I was so excited. He said, "You can do this." And sent me to sit down by Sister Banks.
So, my new companion is Sister Roncal. She is Filipino, 5 feet tall, 25, and from Ilongopo, Philippines. She was the only sister in the batch, and I can't even believe that out of every wonderful beautiful perfect sister in the mission, Heavenly Father chose me to be her trainer. All of the elders teased me about being a "nanay" already--or mom. Sis. Roncal expressed to me that 'she has been sick since she's left the MTC--kidney stone. So on the ride back to Solano, I let her sleep on my shoulder. As she slept, I mouthed to Elder Miller--who is also training again--that I was scared, and he said, "You must be doing something right." That gave me comfort.
I feel such a huge sense of responsibility. My trainer was such a wonderful example to me of everything I should be as a missionary and more. And now it's my turn to be that. I am afraid to mess up or to seem weak or to not give back to my trainee what my trainer gave to me. I've had nights--umm..and days--where I've asked Heavenly Father why me--my Tagalog is still so weak, and she is so much better at teaching and OYMing than I am. But I fasted and prayed this time about my companion--that I would be able to love her, and we would be able to be obedient together and work in unity. And I know that this is an answer to my prayers.
At transfer meeting I remembered one thing that Sister De Fiesta told me when we were first assigned together. She said before we were together, she had a dream. In the dream, she heard a voice that said, "Take care of her. She is a mother in Zion." Or nanay in the mission field? I also remembered my setting apart blessing that said I would be a leader on my mission. I know this is all part of God's plan.
But...leader, ALREADY?! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Believe me I'm not boasting ;/
When we got home to the apartment our first night, we sat down and had a small companionship study before we went out. I read to Sister Roncal from President's last letter to us about being a 100% missionary, and being exact in obedience. I expressed to her that this was important to me...to always be obedient and unified. We set goals for the cycle, and went to Sister Analyn's to teach and have dinner.
You know what a perfectionist I can be. I want to be the best example to my trainee, but there are things I still can't do well because of my lack of Tagalog...or maybe it's lack of faith.
Heavenly Father is trying to teach me to be humble, and patient, and to trust in Him. And I realized today, as I read from 1 Nephi 7-12, how stubborn I am being. I am acting a little more like Laman and Lemuel and Sariah than I am like Nephi, and that scared me. But like you said, it's so much easier to believe in miracles after they are completed--so much easier to trust after seeing. Sometimes I don't know how I'm supposed to trust? I'm studying, I'm praying, I'm speaking the language, I'm trying to listen to the Spirit, I'm striving to be as obedient as I can, I'm out working, but I still have moments where I am confounded in a lesson, and can't figure out how to say a word or when someone tells me my tagalog is terrible, and won’t look me in the eyes when they speak cause they don’t think I can understand. It makes me wonder if I am even doing anything to help these people.
Anyways, I love you so so much and miss your hugs. Still no packages from Matts or Michelle. President is coming here tomorrow, and will probably bring mail with him to the church. Maybe they will come tomorrow. I will let you know.
OH! And you won’t believe what happened. Sister Banks and I had planned to pay our electric bill the Saturday after transfer week, because we had no time to go otherwise. Well, the second night with Sister Roncal, our electricity was turned off. HAaaaaaaa. We went to pay the bill on Saturday and saw that the place is only open Monday through Friday. Sooooooooo we've been without electricity for about four days now. Sister Roncal has been stressing out, but I'm like, "ehh, no biggie. I've lived with no electricity for two months." HAha. I'm reminding myself of Pop. Oh no.
Tell everyone that I miss them, and love them all so very much! Squeeze all those babies for me ;) Thank you all again and again for your support in all ways. I love YOU GRANDMA! Keep your prayers coming everyone :) Thank you,
SO MUCH LOVE